Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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