East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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