Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Randomize
