We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
