she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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