I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
