too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
as a side note pls kill me
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
