Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
this will be a night to untag.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
