I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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