I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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