Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
