I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
