so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
