there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
