BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
