Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
