What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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