he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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