Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
kristin has been a bad kristin
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
