Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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