Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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