Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
