She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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