Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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