He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
