Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
