if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
