Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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