Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
