I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
