there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
