Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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