dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
