and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
