Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
