Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Randomize
