The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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