I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
