I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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