Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
