I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
