so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
