There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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