WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
