PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
