Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
