I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
