I'm eating all of the evidence.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
