I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
