her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
